I’m feeling pretty drained these days. The residue of worry is bogging me down – worry about being down a friend, the worry of how to cope with all of that, the worry of trying to get my life in order, and now, worry about family. A dream last night and a disturbing call this morning has me in a less than stellar mood.
I’ve been thinking about changing gears work wise for a little bit now but I have such a strong urge to get back to Denver now. There’s such a strong part of me that wishes I could afford to up and quit right now and just find a job after I get to Denver. The problem with that of course is it could take a long time to get a job and I have certain debt that I have to pay for period. It’s too much risk. Either way, it’s clear I have to get more serious about my situation. I mean, I’ve always been serious about it, but now there’s additional motivation…if you can call it that.
Normally, on the first of the month I have some semi-creative way to welcome the new month and say goodbye to old – all of it being part of my monthly themes. I have to admit I don’t have the energy for it right now. Whatever energy I can muster, it will have to be dedicated to work. I will be super busy for the next month to month and a half covering schools, etc. That alone will be draining me of creative writing. There is also all the worry. It’s such a burden. I’ll have to expend energy just to deal with that and to try and NOT worry so it doesn’t use up so much energy, but it’s hard not to.
I’m hoping the few folks who come by on a regular basis and those who occasionally stop by, are willing to be patient with me for a while. I don’t know how much I’ll be around for a little bit as I sort things out. I’ll try and still check in with select-a-sets at least and photos if I take anymore foolish trips – which I may have to, to try and exorcise my demons. I may also try and submit a few posts here and there because May is for Mothers – my theme for the month. I don’t want to neglect it but I’m just so tired. Thanks all for the patience and for stopping by as usual! I know I’ll be around more as I feel better about things.