I heard you crying again last night. I could hear your heart breaking again. I know you keep asking yourself the same question over and over in hopes of finding the answer…how could he lose interest so quickly…just like the last guy? I know you want to blame yourself; I know you want to shoulder all the responsibility. I know you tend to ignore me when it comes to these things.
It hurts to watch you do this to yourself over and over again especially because it doesn’t have to happen. You always listen to the Negative Nelly inhabiting that corner of your mind. She’s always telling you that you’re too old; that you’ve screwed up your life irreparably. Somehow it’s her voice you hear when she tells you you’re unattractive and don’t have much to offer someone. Her voice only gets stronger and louder after there’s been guy who seemed interested but then pulls a ghosting act. It’s virtually a free pass for her to knock you down, beat you up emotionally. And you allow it. You buy her poison.
It’s understandable to ask questions, to feel abandoned when a guy you like stops talking to you and it feels like it’s for no reason. It’s understandable to feel like you must have done something wrong, but the truth is…you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your responsibility. You don’t have to feel like that.
Most days you don’t feel like that because you know better. You know better because on those days, you’re listening to your true self, you’re listening to me. I’m here to offer you a choice. You’re at a point in your life that you realize, without my telling you, that it’s up to you about how you feel about yourself. You have control over that negative voice that wants to tell you that you’re fat, unattractive, worthless. You don’t have to listen to her screeching and cackling about how you’ve wasted time, no one could love you because you’re unlovable. You can have selective hearing and “accidentally” tune her out when she says that you’re too old for settling down and that life’s passed you by. You can choose to succumb to that, or you can choose to listen to me.
I come bearing gifts. I want to remind you of all that you do have to offer to this world, to your friends and family. I want you to remember that you are priceless, not worthless. How you feel about yourself stems from how you talk to yourself. Yes, that little negative voice may show her ugly face from time to time, especially when there’s been a hardship, but that doesn’t have to be the strongest voice you hear. The strongest voice should be me, but you have to choose that. You have to actively commit to that choice and effectuate that choice. It will require action on your part. Being passive allows that negative voice to rule and I think it’s fair to say… you don’t really want that anymore.
I bring you songs to help heal you. Music is a powerful tool for you so I thought one of the best ways to get through to you and past her, was to use songs. I bring a set of three to help you get started.
First – Katy Perry’s “Firework.” This song speaks to the core of your fret and worry. Despite the self-doubt, inside is a firework. You just have to have enough faith to let yourself be happy.
Second – Anna Nalick – “In the Rough.” Love will find you someday. You just have to keep the faith. The one who’s worthwhile will understand your value and not let you go.
Third – Katy Perry – “Unconditionally.” This is a dual action song for you. You have to learn to love yourself unconditionally first. The rest will take care of itself. Others love you unconditionally, why don’t you do that for yourself?
I would include Katy Perry’s “Roar,” but there’s plenty of her in this special select-a-set just for you. I do think you should also always remember Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten.” There are still plenty of blank pages waiting for you to fill them. Don’t waste your energy on negativity when there’s so much positive to be had. Don’t lose yourself in the tidal wave of self-doubt and criticism.