Hello WordPress of 2014! It’s a beautiful new day and the world can start anew, well so to speak. I was having some issues with coming up with a new theme for this month because I didn’t want it to be horribly cliché about it being new beginnings or a fresh start, yadda yadda. I also had no clue about how in the world I would write about that day in and day out – it would be horribly counterintuitive to write about new beginnings every day. It would be like that movie with Bill Murray, “Groundhog Day.” Yeah I can’t do that. There is the argument that every new day is a new beginning and that may be true in many ways, but in the bigger picture there is only one new beginning so it simply wouldn’t work very well.
I had some time to think about what my resolutions would be for this year, as is tradition and this eventually led to the new theme. I haven’t really done resolutions and, like most, am horrible about keeping to them anyway. Back for 2012, I took a different approach. I decided on a New Year’s Theme. I decided my theme for making my life better would be “investment in myself.” It would mean taking the chance to help make things better by investing in myself, doing things that would improve my life – such as exercise, buying new clothes, doing something with my crazy, thick, curly hair that drives me nuts, etc. I would do things that helped make me feel better, be happier all of which in turn would make me healthier, etc. I was a bit derailed that year when my grandpa passed away and then all the family drama that came along with it. It’s very draining so I went back into survival mode and let me tell you, that’s no way to really live. I didn’t exactly stick to my theme for the year but I had moments and that helped.
I recently read an article on CNN.com that talked about resolutions and taking a new approach so as to actually meet those goals. Included – a one-word theme for the year instead. I thought ‘wow, I wasn’t that far off.’ It was cool to know that, at least to me, I had a somewhat original idea. Perhaps many others have done this but no one in my circles had and no one else had made that suggestion to me. Anyway, I digress. The real point is…I love the idea and have grasped it with both hands. The article goes on to make other suggestions and how to tackle resolutions in a way that is truly productive and I highly recommend reading it, at least if you really want to knock down some awesome goals for 2014.
So what’s my one-word theme for 2014 you ask? Well, it took some time but it came to me in an instant at work yesterday actually. It’s going to be “choices.” If two years ago it was to invest in myself, then building on that should mean choices. I decided this also because of the way I’ve been feeling about my life and a recent self-pity party I had about my singlehood, etc. I thought back on those moments and realized I have choices to make. My life, while overall pretty good and I can’t really complain too much, isn’t as good as it can be. I can do more, I can be more. It’s about the choices, or lack thereof, that’s made things the way they are.
I had been on a few dates with someone and was getting my hopes up, but true to form, it appears he’s lost interest. They always do. This prompted a lot of old insecurity to pop up and wreak havoc in my mind for a bit but I have a choice to make. I can choose to sit there, cry, feel sorry for myself, put myself down in every way possible, OR I can choose to say ‘his lack of communication isn’t about me.’ I can choose to say ‘pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on because there’s other better things I can be doing than crying about it.’ It sucks and there’s some residue of that icky feeling but I’m choosing to battle it. I’m choosing to not cave to that and I’m choosing to not let it get to me – besides I don’t know the whole story right now. Who knows…maybe it’s not what I think it is; I’ll have to wait and see what happens.
I have choices to make this year. I have choices to make regarding work, regarding what I hope to accomplish, etc. When I have made strong choices, I’ve almost always landed on my feet and have done well. It’s time to put faith in my ability to make good choices and to do so. I have to have faith in me because it’s not anyone’s responsibility to do so (though fortunately I am surrounded by loving family and friends who do have faith so that helps).
I can choose to continue to eat all the crap I do, OR I can choose to start taking better care of myself. I can choose to be comfortable, OR I can choose to be a little uncomfortable for a while if it means getting to a new destination I want to be. I can choose to feel sorry for myself in terms of not being able to travel, etc., OR I can choose to become better with saving money, not wasting it when I have it and do what I have to so I can do the travel I want to do. I’m a smart girl – I just have to put that intelligence to good use instead of always caving to survival mode. I’ve done that for far too long. I want to live, not just survive. I must switch from being passive and content, to proactive and happy. Content is okay but it gets old. Happy is where it’s at and that’s where I want to be. I’ve started here at the end of 2013, but 2014 will be so much better, all because of the choices I will be making.