Not Just Anyone Can Be A Dad

courtesy/kcmanup.blogspot.com

courtesy/kcmanup.blogspot.com

I haven’t been as good this month with my monthly theme and I apologize to dads all over for this. I’ve been a little side tracked with some other topics I felt I needed to talk about. This doesn’t mean that dads are any less important than moms.

I have touched base some with talking about grandpas and their roles in our lives. I’ve talked some about my own dad and of course famous t.v. dads who helped shaped us also.

There is one thing I would like to point out, at least this is how it appears to me anyway, that there is a big difference between being a father and a dad. In our lives, just like with moms, there are all kinds of dads – biological dads, stepdads, grandfathers, uncles, adoptive dads, etc. I haven’t talked about the non-traditional roles as much as I should have. There are so many guys out there who have stepped up and played the role of dad when they didn’t need to and those men should be applauded and I do.

This is especially important because it seems like there’s a ton of appreciation and thanks given to moms and Father’s Day doesn’t seem to feel nearly as important (I could be wrong on this but it feels that way in my observation) and I find that disappointing. I’m sure some of it is because we’ve grown accustomed to the idea of the dead beat dad, oops I mean father. A dad is not one that would ever be a dead beat. It’s taken longer for society to accept that there are some really great single dads out there. There are amazing dads and step dads who’ve stepped up and they don’t seem to get as much recognition as they should because we’re so focused on the bad apples. Again, just in my observation, there is a little bit of a shift going on and people are seeing the increased value of dads. Some of this may be the shift to having more stay at home dads or Mr. Moms if you will (that’s another movie that I love with Michael Keaton – what a fabulous Mr. Mom he was).

That said, I suppose that’s part of why a particular scene from the movie “Parenthood” comes to mind. This line, delivered by Keanu Reeves to Dianne Wiest, is brilliant. I’ll let him say it, but the character, “Tod,” is spot on when he says that anyone can be a father. It’s such a profound moment for a character that’s not expected to be all that smart that even he suddenly shakes it off. Tod definitely makes a case for the difference between being a father and a dad.

courtesy/singleparents.org

courtesy/singleparents.org

Real dads are amongst the most amazing people. They love differently than moms, but as I said before, that’s good. We need balance in our lives. They all have their way of approaching life and what skills to equip their kids with as they grow up and move into adulthood. I always smile when I hear some goofy story of a well-meaning dad who embarrassed his kid or kids in some fashion.

Dads can dress funny or act funny; sometimes they’re overprotective of their daughters but in the end… it’s all about love. They put their best foot forward, even if it can be awkward at times. They shape us and mold us, they help us become the people we are and we’re grateful! Thanks dads for all you do!

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10 responses to “Not Just Anyone Can Be A Dad

  1. This is so true. I dislike when people say that their mothers are their fathers as well because there are some characteristics from a male figure that one cannot obtain from a female figure.

    • well right; i just think they’re referring to the single parents out there that sort of play both roles; that said you’re right and that’s part of the argument that there needs to be two parents to help with those different roles. im not sure it’s necessary but it’s good to have that balance. πŸ™‚

  2. Parenthood is my most favorite movie of all time. And yes, that scene with Keanu is perfect rergarding dads. I’m sure you’ve read my stories on my kid’s father who up and left just because he didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I try on a daily basis not to have hate and guilt overrun me because of it. Hate, because sometimes, I hate what that man did and guilt, because I feel guilty I couldn’t give my child a decent father.

    But wow do I respect dad’s who do stick around and do what they need to. I have a tremendous amount of respect.

    • i have read what you’ve said and i can’t blame you one bit for the feelings you have on the matter. you shouldn’t feel guilty for someone else’s actions or inactions – you can’t control that person. that said – yes i love parenthood lol it really hits the nail on the head in several ways. great dads definitely need to be valued.

  3. “They love differently than moms, but as I said before, that’s good. We need balance in our lives”

    excellent statement!

    Since i studied psychology for both my undergrad and graduate I faced a lot of academic material which tried to undermine the positive differences between the genders.

    In modern psychology the APA wants everyone to believe that there are no biological differences between the genders and that everything we know to be different is merely to the culture.

    While culture definitely plays a big role……I believe the evidence points toward the idea that there are differences between the genders…and that is okay. Just because men and women are different doesn’t mean we should step back in time and live in the 1800s!

    But to ignore that a mother and father both bring different elements to the table seems a tad bit foolish.

    • i agree. while i still think that men and women are equal and women can do what men do, it’s done differently; this whole mars and venus bit in terms of communication is definitely something i believe in now lol dating has shown me that πŸ™‚ but that doesn’t have to be all bad either. it’s just making appropriate adjustments πŸ™‚

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